Tasha Joseph – Leading Love and Infidelity Expert

1. The corner office – your guy may not be working late, but he may be sneaking off to his paramour’s office down the hall for a quickie during the day. Pop by for a visit to his office unannounced if you’re suspicious.

2. The gym – sure, he goes there to work out, but what else happens during your guy’s sweat sessions? Put on some work out gear and head out with him the next time he goes to find out.

3. The bank – this comes directly from a DDHG reader who warns that some men will often use the bank as a place to troll for women while waiting in line or hitting on the women who work there. Either way, it’s not cool so the next time he says he’s going to the bank, tag along and see what happens.

How do you know your date is worth your time? You never really know, but here are 5 things that will give you a big hint!

1. He doesn’t hog the conversation – if you’re on a date with a guy who spends every minute rattling on his life and his exes without you getting a word in, this may be a sign that he’s narcissistic and selfish. A guy who listens and is interested in you and your life is the kind of guy you need.

2. He’s got chivalry on the brain – if he pulls out chairs and opens doors for you, he may be a keeper. Who says chivalry is dead?

3. He doesn’t use his cellphone during the date – this means one of two things – either he’s devoting his date time to you and doesn’t want distractions, or he’s got his phone on silent so the other women he’s dating don’t call while he’s with you. Hopefully, it’s the former.

4. He comes baring gifts – a guy who shows up on a date armed with flowers and candy is caring, considerate and obviously wants to impress you.

5. He’s on time – a guy being on time for a date is a sign that he’s taking his time with you seriously and wants to make a good impression

We’ve all got habits, some good and some bad. We women tend to repeat bad dating habits more often than we’d like. We date the gorgeous bad boy, instead of swooning over the quirky nerd who we know isn’t going to break our hearts. Or we go for the guy we think we can ‘fix’ instead of devoting our attention to the guy who’s already been repaired. The key to finding a good relationship is to recognize what your bad habits are and quickly breaking them.

1. Look yourself in the eye and take a brutal, honest assessment of your dating relationships. Write down the names of your last five significant others. Write down five reasons why the relationship ended with each guy. Take a look at what you’ve written and you’ll soon see your pattern emerging.

2. When you think about dating that hottie from your office, make a commitment to yourself first. Commit to dating with your eyes wide-open. You owe it to yourself to be selective about the guys you spend your time with. If you decide on a first date with a guy, ask him tough questions that will help make the decision to have a second date. What does he do for a living? What does he value in life? What are his goals and ambitions? Is he financially stable and independent? And when he gives you the answers, don’t overlook them. Don’t make excuses for him and his answers because he looks like Brad Pitt. Instead, listen to what he’s saying and govern yourself accordingly.

3. Agree to get a second opinion. Enlist the help of your closest girlfriends, whom you trust, to provide an independent third-party opinion of your potential paramour. Be prepared to hear their brutally honest criticism and advice.

Going green in every aspect of our lives is important. The future of our planet depends on us and how we take care of it. You can recycle and use less water, but can you green up your love life? Most certainly! Here’s how:

1. Plan the perfect green date! Skip the pricey restaurant for dinner and surprise him with an environmentally-friendly picnic under the stars at a park or even in your own backyard. Use reusable plates and utensils instead of disposable ones!

2. Organic can be orgasmic! Hit the local farmer’s market and prepare an entirely organic meal for your hottie. Organic foods are grown without toxic pesticides and fertilizers, making them good for you, and great for the planet, too!

3. Give green gifts! The holiday season may be behind us, but there are many occasions throughout the year to give green gifts to your loved ones! The Robomow Lawn Mower ($1,400) is environmentally-friendly and cool. The Gidget Gadget case provides eco-storage for your man’s iPod ($28). It’s fabulous!

Hey ladies! How many times have you dated a guy and got that feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that something just wasn’t right. Like many women do, you ignored the signs and kept dating him, only to discover that everything you thought about the guy was dead-on. So, how can we women stop ignoring our intuition? That’s why Mother Nature gave it to us! Here are 3 ways to listen to your gut every time!

1. Don’t fight the feeling. When feel that gnawing in the pit of your stomach telling you that something’s not right, immediate stop and acknowledge. Recognize that you don’t feel right about this guy and make a mental note of it.

2. Stop seeing a guy you don’t necessarily feel good about. If you’re not totally into a guy, don’t date him. It’s just going to be a waste of his time and yours. You’re never going to find the perfect guy, but you may just find one that’s right for you if you listen to your gut.

3. Practice trusting that gut feeling. Trusting your gut takes practice. We as women are so used to ignoring it until it’s too late, that we’ve got to practice, practice, practice and soon you’ll get the hang of it.

What Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys, Their Exes and Jealousy

Q. Dear Tasha

I’m new to your site DontDateHimGirl.com and I’m sure this topic has been discussed a million times before but please help me out, I am suffering from the age old killer of relationships – jealousy.

And it sucks, it eats away at me inside though I know my agitated feelings have no logic behind them. I have been dating my boyfriend for about three and a half months and he tells me he loves me daily, he is just about always there for me and he is like the guy of my dreams, the one I’m pretty sure could be Mr. Right, after years of dating creep upon creep. But the thing that drives me nuts and is killing our relationship is the horrific jealousy I always feel whenever he mentions one of his exes or tells me a story about them or shows me a photograph. I hate it.

I freak out and don’t want to talk to him. My policy has always been ignorance is bliss. I just don’t want to know how his ex-girlfriends look or to see in a picture a necklace he gave her when they were going out. His policy is that I should know about his past so that I can get to know who he is today.

My policy is aaarrgh – I’m constantly comparing myself – I don’t look like any of these other chicks, they all have bigger bra sizes, blond beach chick looks. Though they were all much older than him and did have kids which should be of some comfort.

I know I clearly suffer from low self-esteem problems and I’m from another country and without family etc… while he is Southern California born and raised and has a ton of friends and a great and loving family. No matter how hard I explain he cannot understand the insecurities that eat away at my insides like a cancer, my exaggerated thoughts and ensuing depression.

I know he is faithful to me and these women are no threat so why do I constantly compare myself to these exes and stupidly feel they were somehow better than me and how do I make him understand to quit bringing stuff up I don’t want to hear and stop feeling angry for no reason before I completely destroy what could be a great relationship.

It sounds simple enough and I will think I have it under control and rationalize everything but takes little more than a picture or a comment to set me off again. Help – I know this is sick and stupid behavior – Thanks.

Well, first you should congratulate yourself! You know what’s eating away at you, now you just need to learn how to move past it. A lot of women haven’t gotten to the point of being able to recognize their own insecurities.

You have and for that, you should be happy. Now, on to the business at hand � how does a girl with low self-esteem move past jealousy and insecurity and help her otherwise great relationship grow?

Getting help, such as therapy for your issues with low self-esteem is a great first step. A therapist can help you work through the issues that are at the root of your insecurity. Remember, that in one way or another, both men and women are insecure creatures. Believe it or not, your boyfriend has insecurities, too!

Next, talk to your boyfriend about it – not to try to make him understand your insecurities because to him what you’re feeling isn’t rational. Instead, ask him to stop bringing up his exes. Make it a policy in the relationship, just like the other policies you adhere to, particularly if you don’t bring up your exes to him.

Then, stop comparing yourself to these women. Of all the pictures he’s shown you or stories he’s told you, YOU are the one that he is with. YOU are the one he loves. If these other women were so great, he would still be with them. Guys are really simple that way.

They aren’t going to stick around and be in relationship with a woman they aren’t into for any reason. It’s important that you understand this. Of all the women he’s been with, your boyfriend has chosen you. Do you really think that just because you don’t look like the chicks he dated previously, he loves you any less? Absolutely not!

Sure, he may show you a picture once in a while or tell you a story, but once you tell him how this makes you feel, he’ll stop. No picture or story is more important to him than your feelings.

Are you really going to let a picture of some old ex-girlfriend really set you off and ruin a great relationship? You’re much smarter than that.

Who cares if they have bigger breasts or a different hair color? Work on your self-esteem issues with a therapist, stop comparing yourself to the women in his past who are no longer relevant to him in any way and enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend. A great guy is hard to find and it sounds like you have one, so don’t blow it because of a picture or story of an old girlfriend from his past! –  Tasha Joseph