1. HE’S HAPPY WITH THE STATUS QUO. The guy you’re dating now might seem perfect, but if he isn’t trying to improve his life in some way and is just happy with the status quo, then why would you marry him? You’re a cool chick who wants to achieve great things, no a girl with your head stuck in the sand in a relationship that’s going nowhere.
2. HE’S ALLERGIC TO THE LONG-TERM. If you’ve been dating your guy for over six months you may think that seems like a long time in the dating game. But in reality it’s nowhere near what would be considered “long-term”. If the guy you’re dating whose last relationship lasted less than a year, he’s probably not going to be into committing to a romantic relationship in the long-term.
3. HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE DEFINITION OF COMMITMENT. If you’re going to marry a guy, you both should be on the same page as to what commitment means to you. The definition varies widely depending on the couple. So make sure you’re not thinking that commitment means he’s never going to go to a strip clubs, while he’s thinking commitment means not getting a lap dance.
4. HIS GOALS DON’T LINE UP WITH YOURS. If you’re going to be part of a committed couple, you’re probably planning to stay together for the long haul. You probably have shared goals and ideas about where you want the relationship that you’re building to go. That’s what happens when your guy is looking at taking a walk down the aisle with you by his side. If you and your current guy can’t see eye to eye on what your lives will be like in the future, then he’s probably not the one you’re going to marry.
5. HE ISN’T REALLY MARRIAGE MATERIAL AND YOU KNOW IT. Sure your guy may be hot, but alone does not qualify him to be your husband. Spend a minute and think about 5 reasons you shouldn’t marry the guy you’re dating now. Then spend another 5 minutes thinking about the reasons you should hurl yourself toward wedded bliss with him. If your list of reasons to marry him isn’t as long as your list of reasons you shouldn’t do the deed, then you probably know deep down in your heart that although he may be a fine-looking male specimen, he’s not really marriage material.
6. HE DOESN’T TREAT YOUR PRIORITIES WITH RESPECT. Are there things you want to do that your guy puts down all the time? That’s a key sign that you won’t be promising to have and to hold with your guy anytime soon. Your wants and needs are just as important as his. What you want to do with your life is just as important as he wants to do. A guy who is wedding worthy will know that he needs to treat your priorities with respect.
7. HE’S TOO CLOSE TO HIS MOTHER. Ladies, you may be thinking that your guy is way too close to his mother. If his mom still thinks he’s six and treats him like it, it’s probably best if you don’t commit yourself til death do you part to him. You need a guy who is close with his family, but not to the point where his parents butt into his personal life and cause conflict in your relationship.

2. The gym – sure, he goes there to work out, but what else happens during your guy’s sweat sessions? Put on some work out gear and head out with him the next time he goes to find out.

3. The bank – this comes directly from a DDHG reader who warns that some men will often use the bank as a place to troll for women while waiting in line or hitting on the women who work there. Either way, it’s not cool so the next time he says he’s going to the bank, tag along and see what happens.

1. He doesn’t hog the conversation – if you’re on a date with a guy who spends every minute rattling on his life and his exes without you getting a word in, this may be a sign that he’s narcissistic and selfish. A guy who listens and is interested in you and your life is the kind of guy you need.

2. He’s got chivalry on the brain – if he pulls out chairs and opens doors for you, he may be a keeper. Who says chivalry is dead?

3. He doesn’t use his cellphone during the date – this means one of two things – either he’s devoting his date time to you and doesn’t want distractions, or he’s got his phone on silent so the other women he’s dating don’t call while he’s with you. Hopefully, it’s the former.

4. He comes baring gifts – a guy who shows up on a date armed with flowers and candy is caring, considerate and obviously wants to impress you.

5. He’s on time – a guy being on time for a date is a sign that he’s taking his time with you seriously and wants to make a good impression

Many girls sign up on adult sexually oriented dating wrongly thinking there might be good guys on those sites. All guys are interested in sex, they reason, so there must be some good guys on there who are just being honest about how much they like sex. WRONG!

While all guys might be interested in sex, good guys do not sign up on those sites. Good guys do not think it is the place to find good girls, either. Guys know what is expected of them. They know that the girl they really want to marry will not tolerate those sites, so they do not sign up on them, plain and simple.

Guys who use those sites and really expect to meet girls are only looking for casual sex and one night stands. They are usually honest about that in their profiles, so believe what you read. Do not think you can find a good guy on those sites and change him. Save yourself a lot of pain and heartache by staying away from those sites.

Even if you think you might like a casual relationship yourself, the men on those sites are more than likely liars, cheaters, substance abusers, married or all of the above! Chances are very high that no relationship started on a sex site will end well. Why risk heartache and heartbreak by taking that chance? Guard your heart. Stay off adult sex dating sites – Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor

Check out more great DDHG articles here -

Be a Smart Girl: Use Twitter to Tweet Your Way To Success by Kerry Gray – http://dontdatehimgirl.com/article_view/empower/be-a-smart-girl-using-twitter-to-tweet-your-way-to-success-440.html

Five Ways to Find Love in 2009 by Tasha Cunningham – http://dontdatehimgirl.com/article_view/empower/5-ways-to-find-love-in-2009-435.html

10 Guys You Should Never Date…EVER! by Tasha Cunningham- http://dontdatehimgirl.com/article_view/empower/10-guys-you-never-dateever-425.html

Webcam Sex

Is your guy engaged in e-sex with another woman in cyberspace? Here are 5 ways to find out!

1.  He lives in an alternate reality. If your guy plays Sims, Second Life or any of the other life-simulating video games now available and lives a completely different life online than he does in real life, he may be e-sexing an avatar without you ever knowing it.

2.  He’s secretive about his hardware. If your guy hides his computer, encrypts it with three layers of password-protection, the code to which you don’t have, he could be having e-sex with a cyber-hottie behind your back.

3.  He burns the midnight oil online. If you guy spends hours on end on his computer, that’s not normal. He may be living out his alternate reality online with a woman who he’s having e-sex with.

4.  He doesn’t have a “real” life. If you guy’s world revolves around his computer and he’s stopped doing things with you, having sex with you or even talking to you on the phone, something is wrong. Your guy may be getting his needs met in elsewhere, including cyberspace.

5.  He can’t stop talking about his online world. If your guy has crafted an alternate universe for himself online and can’t stop talking to you about it, there’s something amiss. He’s too wrapped up in his online life and as such, may be wrapped up in the arms of a cyber-woman having e-sex! — Tasha Cunningham

1. Look in the mirror. Really take a good, long look at yourself and decide what you want. What are your goals? What are you trying to achieve in the short-term and in the future? What are the things that went wrong in your last relationship? You can’t make a permanent change in your love life if you’re not even sure what your trying to change.

2. Don’t repeat the same, old habits. Habits are never easy to break, but you can do it. If you’ve got a pattern of dating guys with issues, the next time you run into a hottie without a job, his own home or life goals, run! If you’re always dating guys that you have to “fix”, stop that behavior in it’s tracks. If you meet a guy and his list of problems is longer than yours, head for the hills and stay away from that guy!

3. Get a new attitude. Women have a tendency to get down on themselves for not being perfect. Guess what? No one’s perfect! And although we know that, it’s often hard to ease the pressure we put on ourselves to be thin, to have money, to be married to the perfect guy or whatever it is that’s driving you. Realize that you’re going to make mistakes and you can’t beat yourself up for it. It’s going to take time for you to change your thinking, but don’t waste too much time because you only get one life and YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

4. Make a clean break from your exes. Many women remain friends with an ex immediately following a break up. Don’t do it. This only leads to trouble. You could get into a friends- with-benefits situation and get your feelings hurt or you may end up falling for your ex again. Either way, dealing with things like that takes away from time you could be spending on yourself, planning your fabulous future!

5. Hit the gym. You’ll transform your body and your mind. It’s healthy for you and you may just meet the man of your dreams while you’re sweating it out in the name of beauty!

1. Plan the perfect green date! Skip the pricey restaurant for dinner and surprise him with an environmentally-friendly picnic under the stars at a park or even in your own backyard. Use reusable plates and utensils instead of disposable ones!

2. Organic can be orgasmic! Hit the local farmer’s market and prepare an entirely organic meal for your hottie. Organic foods are grown without toxic pesticides and fertilizers, making them good for you, and great for the planet, too!

3. Give green gifts! The holiday season may be behind us, but there are many occasions throughout the year to give green gifts to your loved ones! The Robomow Lawn Mower ($1,400) is environmentally-friendly and cool. The Gidget Gadget case provides eco-storage for your man’s iPod ($28). It’s fabulous!

1. Pain Relief – Ditch the Tylenol and find a lover. Bet you didn’t know that immediately before orgasm, levels of a hormone called oxytocin surge to five times their normal levels in the human body. This releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of migraines, arthritis and any other ache you can think of. In women, sex also increases estrogen production, which makes the PMS pain easier to handle.

2. Smell the Roses ‘” After you’ve had sex, a hormone called prolactin surges through your body. This hormone causes the brain to produce new neutrons in the brain’s olfactory center, which controls your sense of smell.

3. Sweet Heart ‘” Protect your heart by having sex three or more times a week. In a 2001 Queens University study found that by doing just that, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.

4. Lose the Weight ‘” Sex is exercise and you can burn over 200 calories in a single vigorous bout. Muscular contractions during sex work all parts of your body including the pelvis, buttocks, arms and thighs.

5. A Natural Flu Shot ‘” Sex can actually prevent you from getting the cold or flu. A Wilkes University study recently found that having sex once or twice a week can increase production of the antibody immunoglobulin A, which can boost your immune system.

Break-Up Rules to Live By

1. When you feel like you want out of a relationship, don’t procrastinate. Don’t wait around until you find the next girl or guy and then promptly inform you current flame that the relationship is over. Pulling the rug out from a significant other will only breed resentment. Instead, ask your mate if you can get together to talk about the relationship. Pick a quiet place where you can both hear each other talk.

2. Spare your soon-to-be ex the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech. Don’t beat around the bush. Get right to the point of why you’re breaking up and lay out your feelings. Give your paramour a chance to digest the fact that your relationship is over.

3. No second chances – at least for now. Don’t beg for a second chance. If the two of you are meant to be in a relationship, it will happen. Agree not to talk to each other for a certain period of time. When that time is up, give your ex a call and see how things are going. Perhaps the time will help you both clear your heads and decide what you truly want. If, after that period of time, you decide you don’t want to get back together, be honest and upfront about it.

4. Accept what has happened to you. It’s going to be hard, but you’ve got to realize that you’re going through a break-up to you. It’s going to hurt and probably for a while. Just ask Jennifer Aniston. There’s nothing wrong with that. Break-ups usually are painful. Accepting what happened and not blaming yourself will help you move on.

5. Pick up a copy of the book How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life by Howard Bronson. It gives you advice to get through every day of your break-up and make the pain go away in just 30 days.

Diagnosis:
Distance Dyslexia  –  he’s got a common problem. Sometimes he’s really close to you, is very attentive and oh so loving, but at the drop of a hat, he pulls away and keeps his distance. To him, pulling away allows him to keep some distance between the two of you, while making himself emotionally available for should someone else come along.

Cure:
He’s afraid of a full commitment and you could end up wasting precious years of your life with a guy who’s got one foot in the door and one foot out of it. That’s not the kind of relationship any girl wants to be in. Ditch him and move on!

Diagnosis:
Too Many Choices  – Sure he says he’s committed to you, but the minute you turn around, he’s checking out his other options. Sometimes, he even works his magic in front of you, eyeing women when he’s in your presence.

Cure:
He’s checking out his options for a reason. Don’t waste another second on this guy. You won’t be able to get him to focus his attention on you alone, so don’t bother trying. There are plenty of other men out there who can happily keep their attention on you and all you have to offer.

Diagnosis:
Cohabitation Conundrum – You’ve moved in together. An engagement and marriage seemed right around the corner. That was two years ago and now he seems content just shacking up.

Cure:
There’s an old adage that describes how commitment phobic men feel when they live with their girlfriends ‘” why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Living together before making a permanent commitment to each other can often stall your relationship. If you’re in this situation, take your man aside and let him know that you need to be a truly committed relationship, not just sharing an apartment like roommates, but building a future together as a couple. Tell him that if he hasn’t made a commitment to you by a certain date, you can no longer be in the relationship. Hopefully, he’ll do the right thing and commit. If not, think of the break-up as a chance to find a guy who is really right for you.