Tasha Joseph – Leading Love and Infidelity Expert

Do we really need to have sex? Most people agree sex is a necessity, but do we really know how sex affects our lives? Here are a few benefits of doing the bump and grind!

1. Pain Relief – Ditch the Tylenol and find a lover. Bet you didn’t know that immediately before orgasm, levels of a hormone called oxytocin surge to five times their normal levels in the human body. This releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of migraines, arthritis and any other ache you can think of. In women, sex also increases estrogen production, which makes the PMS pain easier to handle.

2. Smell the Roses ‘” After you’ve had sex, a hormone called prolactin surges through your body. This hormone causes the brain to produce new neutrons in the brain’s olfactory center, which controls your sense of smell.

3. Sweet Heart ‘” Protect your heart by having sex three or more times a week. In a 2001 Queens University study found that by doing just that, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.

4. Lose the Weight ‘” Sex is exercise and you can burn over 200 calories in a single vigorous bout. Muscular contractions during sex work all parts of your body including the pelvis, buttocks, arms and thighs.

5. A Natural Flu Shot ‘” Sex can actually prevent you from getting the cold or flu. A Wilkes University study recently found that having sex once or twice a week can increase production of the antibody immunoglobulin A, which can boost your immune system.

Remember the song With or Without You by U2? It’s one of the best break-up songs of all time in my opinion. It’s about having the strength to move on after heartbreak, something we’ve all had to face at some point in our dating lives. Most break-up stories I hear are pretty bad. One partner cheats. The other finds out and all hell breaks loose. There are those break-up stories, however, that don’t end so badly. I actually know of some ex-couples who’ve remained friends long after a break-up. What did they know that the rest of us haven’t figured out? They knew how to break up with each other the right way. Yes, there is such a thing as a good break-up and if it’s done right, you may just remain friends with that person.

Break-Up Rules to Live By

1. When you feel like you want out of a relationship, don’t procrastinate. Don’t wait around until you find the next girl or guy and then promptly inform you current flame that the relationship is over. Pulling the rug out from a significant other will only breed resentment. Instead, ask your mate if you can get together to talk about the relationship. Pick a quiet place where you can both hear each other talk.

2. Spare your soon-to-be ex the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech. Don’t beat around the bush. Get right to the point of why you’re breaking up and lay out your feelings. Give your paramour a chance to digest the fact that your relationship is over.

3. No second chances – at least for now. Don’t beg for a second chance. If the two of you are meant to be in a relationship, it will happen. Agree not to talk to each other for a certain period of time. When that time is up, give your ex a call and see how things are going. Perhaps the time will help you both clear your heads and decide what you truly want. If, after that period of time, you decide you don’t want to get back together, be honest and upfront about it.

4. Accept what has happened to you. It’s going to be hard, but you’ve got to realize that you’re going through a break-up to you. It’s going to hurt and probably for a while. Just ask Jennifer Aniston. There’s nothing wrong with that. Break-ups usually are painful. Accepting what happened and not blaming yourself will help you move on.

5. Pick up a copy of the book How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life by Howard Bronson. It gives you advice to get through every day of your break-up and make the pain go away in just 30 days.

Your man is great! He says he’s devoted to you, he makes you breakfast in bed and even gives you foot rubs sometimes. But it’s been four years and he seems to have no intention of making a solid commitment to you. Is your man allergic to real commitment? Here are three signs your man might be a commitment phobic and what you can do about it!

Diagnosis:
Distance Dyslexia  –  he’s got a common problem. Sometimes he’s really close to you, is very attentive and oh so loving, but at the drop of a hat, he pulls away and keeps his distance. To him, pulling away allows him to keep some distance between the two of you, while making himself emotionally available for should someone else come along.

Cure:
He’s afraid of a full commitment and you could end up wasting precious years of your life with a guy who’s got one foot in the door and one foot out of it. That’s not the kind of relationship any girl wants to be in. Ditch him and move on!

Diagnosis:
Too Many Choices  – Sure he says he’s committed to you, but the minute you turn around, he’s checking out his other options. Sometimes, he even works his magic in front of you, eyeing women when he’s in your presence.

Cure:
He’s checking out his options for a reason. Don’t waste another second on this guy. You won’t be able to get him to focus his attention on you alone, so don’t bother trying. There are plenty of other men out there who can happily keep their attention on you and all you have to offer.

Diagnosis:
Cohabitation Conundrum – You’ve moved in together. An engagement and marriage seemed right around the corner. That was two years ago and now he seems content just shacking up.

Cure:
There’s an old adage that describes how commitment phobic men feel when they live with their girlfriends ‘” why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Living together before making a permanent commitment to each other can often stall your relationship. If you’re in this situation, take your man aside and let him know that you need to be a truly committed relationship, not just sharing an apartment like roommates, but building a future together as a couple. Tell him that if he hasn’t made a commitment to you by a certain date, you can no longer be in the relationship. Hopefully, he’ll do the right thing and commit. If not, think of the break-up as a chance to find a guy who is really right for you.

Are you stuck in a relationship rut? Can’t seem to find a good guy? Looking to find a meaningful relationship with someone you can trust? Here are five fabulous ways to change your love life for good and make it happen!

1. Look in the mirror. Really take a good, long look at yourself and decide what you want. What are your goals? What are you trying to achieve in the short-term and in the future? What are the things that went wrong in your last relationship? You can’t make a permanent change in your love life if you’re not even sure what your trying to change.

2. Don’t repeat the same, old habits. Habits are never easy to break, but you can do it. If you’ve got a pattern of dating guys with issues, the next time you run into a hottie without a job, his own home or life goals, run! If you’re always dating guys that you have to “fix”, stop that behavior in it’s tracks. If you meet a guy and his list of problems is longer than yours, head for the hills and stay away from that guy!

3. Get a new attitude. Women have a tendency to get down on themselves for not being perfect. Guess what? No one’s perfect! And although we know that, it’s often hard to ease the pressure we put on ourselves to be thin, to have money, to be married to the perfect guy or whatever it is that’s driving you. Realize that you’re going to make mistakes and you can’t beat yourself up for it. It’s going to take time for you to change your thinking, but don’t waste too much time because you only get one life and YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

4. Make a clean break from your exes. Many women remain friends with an ex immediately following a break up. Don’t do it. This only leads to trouble. You could get into a friends- with-benefits situation and get your feelings hurt or you may end up falling for your ex again. Either way, dealing with things like that takes away from time you could be spending on yourself, planning your fabulous future!

5. Hit the gym. You’ll transform your body and your mind. It’s healthy for you and you may just meet the man of your dreams while you’re sweating it out in the name of beauty!

We’ve all got habits, some good and some bad. We women tend to repeat bad dating habits more often than we’d like. We date the gorgeous bad boy, instead of swooning over the quirky nerd who we know isn’t going to break our hearts. Or we go for the guy we think we can ‘fix’ instead of devoting our attention to the guy who’s already been repaired. The key to finding a good relationship is to recognize what your bad habits are and quickly breaking them.

1. Look yourself in the eye and take a brutal, honest assessment of your dating relationships. Write down the names of your last five significant others. Write down five reasons why the relationship ended with each guy. Take a look at what you’ve written and you’ll soon see your pattern emerging.

2. When you think about dating that hottie from your office, make a commitment to yourself first. Commit to dating with your eyes wide-open. You owe it to yourself to be selective about the guys you spend your time with. If you decide on a first date with a guy, ask him tough questions that will help make the decision to have a second date. What does he do for a living? What does he value in life? What are his goals and ambitions? Is he financially stable and independent? And when he gives you the answers, don’t overlook them. Don’t make excuses for him and his answers because he looks like Brad Pitt. Instead, listen to what he’s saying and govern yourself accordingly.

3. Agree to get a second opinion. Enlist the help of your closest girlfriends, whom you trust, to provide an independent third-party opinion of your potential paramour. Be prepared to hear their brutally honest criticism and advice.

Going green in every aspect of our lives is important. The future of our planet depends on us and how we take care of it. You can recycle and use less water, but can you green up your love life? Most certainly! Here’s how:

1. Plan the perfect green date! Skip the pricey restaurant for dinner and surprise him with an environmentally-friendly picnic under the stars at a park or even in your own backyard. Use reusable plates and utensils instead of disposable ones!

2. Organic can be orgasmic! Hit the local farmer’s market and prepare an entirely organic meal for your hottie. Organic foods are grown without toxic pesticides and fertilizers, making them good for you, and great for the planet, too!

3. Give green gifts! The holiday season may be behind us, but there are many occasions throughout the year to give green gifts to your loved ones! The Robomow Lawn Mower ($1,400) is environmentally-friendly and cool. The Gidget Gadget case provides eco-storage for your man’s iPod ($28). It’s fabulous!

Hey ladies! Can you recall your last bad relationship? Hopefully, it was a long time ago, but if not, you’re probably trying to find a way to deal with it. It’s not easy, but there are things you can do to make letting go of a bad relationship easier.

1. Don’t Dwell on the Good. After a break up, some women tend to focus on the few things that were right in the relationship, and delude themselves about all of the many other things that were bad. When you find yourself thinking about your last relationship, recall all of the things you didn’t like about it and how much better off you are today without that guy in your life.

2. Focus on His Flaws. Sometimes after a break up, women tend to idolize the guy they were with by thinking about all the good things he did in a relationship. Next time you find yourself thinking about your ex, remember all of the times he lied to you instead. It’s important also to remember that by getting back together with him, you’re not going to fix those flaws…EVER.

3. Toss the Evidence. Don’t sit around looking through all the physical remnants of your old relationship. Throw out the cards, concert tickets and gifts he gave you. And if you’re not going to throw it away, at least hide them away where you can’t readily reach them, like a public storage unit. Next time you catch yourself looking through old pictures and cards, toss everything in a box and put it out for the garbage man.

4. Don’t Hold Back. It’s okay to cry. You can’t simply hold in the sadness, anger and hurt you have inside as a result of the break up. When you feel like you’re going to cry, don’t be afraid to let it out. It’s good for you and healing for your soul.

5. Erase Him Quick. Take his number out of your cellphone, delete his e-mail address from your contacts and move on. Take the time to erase him from your life for good using these simple tips! — Tasha Cunningham, tasha@dontdatehimgirl.com